Let me be the first to say - I love going out for dinner. Who doesn't? I don't have to cook or clean up afterwards. Not to mention I can order what I want to eat, and my husband and children can do the same.
Yes. I take my kids out to eat.
I feel it is important for them to learn at an early age how to eat in public. I previously wrote a post on this very subject: How Children Should Behave in a Restaurant. But today in the news, there was a story about parents taking a baby to a fine dining establishment. My first thought was - why would you even think to bring your child to a fancy restaurant?
Yes, my kids have been to Swiss Chalet, East Side Marios, Pizza Hut, and other similar restaurants. But they are considered family friendly. My rule of thumb is that if there are booster seats, high chairs and kids menus available - then children are welcome.
But a fine dining establishment? No.
Going out to dinner (especially a fancy, high priced restaurant) is a special occasion for many. What right do you have to disturb/destory that experience for others? If your child is going to disturb others around you in any way (no matter what kind of restaurant you are at) - it is your responsibility as the parent to remove them from the restaurant. No one wants to hear your child's tantrum/crying.
When I go out to a fancy restaurant, I pay a babysitter to watch my four young children. Because I want to enjoy my evening without the tantrums and crying. If I want to hear that noise - I can eat at home (and it would be a lot cheaper!)
So please, feel free to bring your children to family friendly restaurants. It is a great learning experience and parenting opportunity. Children need to be taught how to eat in public. But also know that the responsibility lies on your shoulders to ensure that they behave properly. If they cannot, you need to be prepared to pack up, take your dinner to go, and leave. And yes - I've had to do exactly that!
Don't destroy someone else's dinner experience!
I agree completely. It irritates me to no end with someone let's their kids scream in a restaurant. Although, there are some that don't matter. If I have to scream for my wife to hear me, then I figure the kids are ok. I can't count the number of times when I have told my wife "it's loud in there. Let's go there, it won't matter if the kids are loud".
ReplyDeleteI have totally said the same thing to my husband :)
DeleteI too wanted my kids to learn how to eat in public and man does it irritate me to see kids running around the restaurant and making scenes with the parents letting them do it. Floors me. The screaming doesn't bother me too much as long as the parents are trying to find a way to get them to calm down...no I won't take my kids to a fancy restaurant - now my kids are older now - I still don't....lol that a me time away from them. Great article and I agree.
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is so many people feel entitled. They think everything their child does is so special. Some kids are just out and out brats.
ReplyDeleteWe go out to eat every Friday with my SD who is 8. We take paper & crayons for her. We get compliments on how well she behaves.
O yes I totally agree with you on this topic I wouldn't dare take my kids to a fancy restaurant, they will be with home grandma
ReplyDeleteIt's true, what you say, however, because we home schooled, we were able to dive into a unit study on manners, then went on to kings and queens, then onto medieval times, etc., we had a sort of "dry run" meal at home, then onto the nice restaurant, it was a great learning experience for all of us.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of doing a 'unit study' at home. Even though I don't homeschool - this would be a great idea for my kids! Any specific resources you could recommend?
DeleteI am tolerant if I see a child that starts to act up as long as I see that the parents are reacting and doing something about it. However, if the kids are allowed to just roam about or just acting out with out any recourse, then that's need for a stare down by the neighboring diners.
ReplyDeleteI agree if they are "family friendly" then bring the kids. I hate it when children act up and the parents don't do anything about it, even in other places like a store. It is really annoying and when I worked in a store I had to tel children to not run, etc because their parents wouldn't and they could get hurt.
ReplyDeleteI agree! We were at a hotel this weekend and there were boys playing hockey in the hallway! I don't know where their parents were - but I was appalled. After more than an hour of noise - I stuck my head out and said something in my stern parent voice. They quieted down, but kids being kids - they got noisy again. So on our way out - I stopped by the front desk and they took care of it. I have no idea where the parents were. But it astonishes me how some parents don't 'parent' at all!
DeleteSomething to remember is that every family parents differently. Some techniques are more effective than others, even from one child to another. And just because it doesn't look like a parent is trying to maintain the madness, doesn't mean that they are not. Sometimes a look or a low voice is being used and it's not as noticeable. But I agree that young children do not belong in a fancy dining experience.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree! And using a low voice or a look (I think) is a great way to handle the situation if the kids are familiar with that kind of parenting. I'm mostly irritated by the parents that seems oblivious. But if the look or low voice isn't working and the kids are still being disruptive - they need to be removed. Either to the car to settle down and then return, or the family needs to pack up and leave. It sounds harsh - but it's really not fair to everyone else.
DeleteI so can relate to this post. It's really a tough thing bringing kids to a "fancy" restaurant. And agree that not all children are the same. Mine, is a pretty active girl that at times you just can't control her. But lately, she's been easy to us.. Behaving well in a resto..
ReplyDeleteMy kids are active too. And like Brian mentioned - there are good days and there are bad days. I always consider their moods and use my parent's intuition as to whether or not dinner in the restaurant will be a success or a failure.
DeleteI agree with you on leaving them home. It really is hard to destress when you hear all that noise.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very true. I don't really get annoyed when other children are screaming because I know there was a time it was my child. It's all a learning experience for the child and the parent. I figure the more you go the more the child/children get the hang of how to eat in public. :) T
ReplyDeleteMy children are well behaved at restaurants. I have taken them from a young age and they know what to expect. I agree however that even good children don't belong at fancy restaurants. That is adult time in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI take my son to restaurant to eat. Just for the fact you state, children need to learn to behave in a restaurant enviroment. And the only way they will do it, is going to the restaurant. I'm a bit divided about taking them to a fancy restaurant. After all, if you pay the bill, you should have the right to bring anyone you want. People really shouldn't be that judgemental. On the other hand, we need to respect others also.
ReplyDeleteI've never been to a fancy restaurant, but no I wouldn't take a kid to a place that doesn't have an actual kids menu. Well I mean I could very easily take my 10 or 13 year old because I know they could handle themselves. But my 8, 7, and 10 week old? Nope, they'd have to wait until they're not longer eating off the kids menu and I know they'd behave.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you addressed this. I was actually going to write a post on a similar story. I go to fancy restraunts once in a blue moon just to get away from "the Family" atmosphere. I have nothing against children, I raised one myself but face it, Parents now days do not teach there children to sit at a table and eat with manners any more.
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome parent; seriously. It's nice to know that SOME people actually try to teach their children how to behave themselves while at a restaurant. It sucks when you go to a restaurant and a kid is just making a mess, running around the tables and screaming their heads off.
ReplyDeleteI agree. No matter where you are going, parents are responsible for teaching their kids how to behave in public.
DeleteParents these days are a shell of what our parents used to be. It getting worse and worse that why I make sure that my children are well behave at all cost. If we don't set the example then who while
ReplyDeleteWell said! That's another subject for another day.....
DeleteMy son is 20 now, but I always made sure he was well behaved in a restaurant even if it was McDonalds, Pizza Hut....etc. I have been in fast food restaurants and the kids are climbing over the booths and tables. I think it is disrespectful no matter where they are. It is our job as parents to teach them right!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately not everyone raises thier children with manners.. If they did this would not be an issue. I too raised my children to have impecable table manners. I dont believe it is approriate for unruly children in fine dining establishments. If the parents dont want to teach them appropriate behavior then they should not take them out to restaurants and ruin someone elses meal. Just my opinion. I can imagine how most of these kids are going to behave as adults... scary
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't really mind noisy kids because I understand them, you're still right about teaching your kids how to behave well in public and yup, it's the parents' responsibility to teach that. Another great advice Shannon!
ReplyDeleteMoms need a break too sometimes, and yes kids do need to learn these skills early in life. I have seen families struggle with a fussy baby on occasion and all I ever think is "I've been in their shoes". Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of these great comments! Glad to hear there are many people who agree with me. Parents need to teach their kids the proper behaviour that society expects when eating out. We also understand that kids are unpredictable and still learning, but parents need to be respectful of those dining around them, and remove their kids if necessary.
ReplyDeleteI agree and not just because it's a restaurant. The same holds true for any public space with other people. Yes, kids have tantrums but then they need to be removed from the environment. The only time they can't be is on a plane.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. At home we eat the table every night. Their are some night where we will lounge in front the television while eating dinner. I'm big on eating at the table because I want my son to get into the habit of proper table etiquette.
ReplyDeleteYour points are well taken. If our kids are not ready for such outings, it is best to take them to places where they run rampant with other children - kid friendly restaurants. Otherwise, it is very distracting for other diners and not the best idea.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
I agree! I try to be very understanding of people with kids. I know that parents need to get out, but I do agree there are some places that is better just for adults!
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of four I totally agree. You may feel like you have as much right to be there as them - but if you are ruining the atmosphere and disturbing others then you have to take a step back a realize that it just should not be done. You have to be understanding and patient and be a good example for your kids too. They watch everything you do and you don't want to set a bad precedent.
ReplyDeleteI've since stopped taking my 3yr old to restaurants. I'd rather stay home and cook, no need going through the 'pain' and spoiling the experience for others. We'll definitely have more fun when he's older.
ReplyDeleteWhen our boys were little me or my husband spent few times sitting in the car with one of the boys while the other half finishes their meal. It took few times for each of them, but they learned at young age :)
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