A very common problem among parents is the complaint that "my child won't sleep" or "they don't stay in bed once I've put them there" or "they still don't sleep thru the night"... and the list goes on and on.
I write this post with the following caveat: I don't know your situation, I generalise on knowledge I have, what I have experienced, and what I have observed.
The first rule of thumb is always (without exception!) say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't ever make an empty threat, because it only takes once, maybe twice before your child has caught on that even though you may threaten a consequence, in reality, it will never happen. Be prepared to follow thru with the punishment should the child choose not to listen to you. If you're not prepared to follow thru - don't threaten in hopes that they will listen. No matter how small the problem/situation, if you say no, then stick to it. It doesn't matter if they whine, make a valid argument, throw a tantrum, or I just feel sorry for them. There has been a few times that I have said no and then changed my mind. But since I have already said no - I will stick to my answer. Next time, I may make a different decision, but at this point in time my word is final and absolute.
Decide on a routine and stick to it. Especially at the beginning it needs to become an ingrained habit. This may take two weeks, this may take a few months. It is always easier to be proactive and start a routine before you get to a point where you think "gee, it would be nice if..." In the beginning (with our first child) bedtime started with a bath, then a new diaper and sleep clothes, brush the teeth, a story and then into bed. We began this routine at approximately 9 months.
Part of your bedtime routine is going to bed at the same time each night. I am a stickler for this (even my husband thinks I'm a little too strict) but deep down, children crave routine. In a big and scary world, it is comforting to know what to expect each day. Their bodies have a very accurate internal clock. It will shut down at the same time every day. We decided that 7pm would be their bedtime and we stick to that religiously. Once in a blue moon, we do break the routine, but we only are able to do this because it is so deeply ingrained.
We never get the "but I'm not tired argument" because whether they are tired or not at 7pm doesn't matter to me. That is when bedtime is, that is when you go to bed. I do not give them alternatives. 7pm is bedtime, we go to bed at 7pm. We kept them in the crib as long as we could, so getting up in the middle of the night was not an option. I feel that we are too much in a rush to put them in a real bed. They only need to sleep in a bed when they are old enough to get up and go to the toilet in the middle of the night. (We waited until the age of 3.5 to potty train our kids, but that is a whole different blog post!)
How do you keep them in a crib when they are getting taller and better climbers? Sleep bags are an amazing investment. One, I think they are safer than loose blankets (though as they get older, I give them one in their crib as well) and two, they prevent the child from swinging their leg up over the crib to get leverage to propel the rest of their body over the rail. I've found that Grobags are the best, because the zipper is covered with a snap and make it harder to figure out how to take the bag off. They are expensive, but I buy them large and the kids grew into them.
After you close that door to their bedroom, you don't go back. They need to learn that goodnight means goodnight. They will survive the night without that final drink of water, or one more story. Again, it goes back to saying what you mean and meaning what you say. I'm also of the opinion that after 9 months, they are smart enough to realise that crying will bring you back into the room. I begin to wean them off that by letting them cry it out. You may feel like the meanest and worst parent in the world. But remind yourself why you are doing this. It is not to cause harm to your child, but to teach them that you mean what you say and say what you mean. For more information about letting them cry it out, surf the Internet - there is lots of information, tips and techniques out there.
This is what has worked for me. I have recieved several comments/compliments on how easily my children go to bed. I wish you the best of luck!
Note: A genius invention (and expensive!) I've come across is the Time to Wake! Alarm Clock and Night Light It teaches kids when to sleep and when it is okay to wake up. It has a soft yellow night light that turns green when it’s time for kids to get up in the morning (which you set to the time of your choosing). When our kids got up before 7am I just ask if the light is green, when they reply no, I tell them back to bed until it turns green. Or they lie to me and I call them on it, and send them back to bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment